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Hey there Merry Christmas, I bought you a gift
It's a book on Christ and how he didn't exist
His martyr story wasn't one of a kind
I'm a killjoy, vegan, pagan kind of guy
So tis the season for starting a war
On all that's holly, jolly, cozy and warm
Jingle bells
Santa smells
Tell your kids...he is not real
Screw Salvation Army, I'll steal the change from their tray
And purchase gifts for people openly gay
Although it's Pagan, I'll set fire to your tree
My Christmas card will be so very obscene
Jingle bells
The rightwing smells
Man they stink
Let's rejoice, warring on Christmas
Let's rejoice, pissing in eggnog
Let's rejoice, banning nativities
Hey there Merry Christmas, I bought you a gift
It's a book about how god is really a myth
I hope you like it, I bring you comfort and joy
Listen to the heathens sing....
La La....
Jingle bells
Mulled wine smells
I need a drink
Let's rejoice, warring on Christmas
Let's rejoice, pissing in eggnog
Let's rejoice, your uncle is creepy
Let's rejoice, I'm drunk and I gotta pee
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